So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
