WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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