How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
