I must be too annoying 4 u.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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