I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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