Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
