Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it glows. i had to have it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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