a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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