I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
