I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
