evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
