She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
