we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
