i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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