I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
