how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The Olympian is in my bed
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
