real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They took my balls.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
