just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
