After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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