When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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