FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude i'm inner monologue high
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
