We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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