Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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