Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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