At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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