It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
