i dedicated my morning wood to you.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
