Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
