im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
