i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
