:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
