The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
