Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
