Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
