I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
