sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
