3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
