There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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