Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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