You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
