im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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