So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
