How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
