this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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