I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
