whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
