the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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