I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
