He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
