When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
