My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
