he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
