I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
