I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
