How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
