So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
